Being in love makes us feel alive: we are full of energy, we experience our sexuality intensely and we feel that we can take on the whole world. Being close to our loved one makes us feel safe and secure. At the same time we can feel vulnerable and frightened.

It could be that we are afraid of intimacy, dependency, shame, guilt, jealousy, aggression and strange desires. At times we fear abandonment. Often these fears have some kind of origin in the past. We have developed behavioural patterns to protect ourselves, and exactly these patterns can cause problems in dealing with our partner. Fights and conflicts develop that mask the real fears and desires. Conflicts can get out of hand and cause real despair.

Do you feel your relationship to be at a dead end? Are you not able to resolve the issues you have with your partner? Then maybe relationship therapy can help you to become closer again.

In this form of therapy you develop insights in the complexity of the patterns that you and your partner have developed during the course of your relationship. Learning to talk about feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, want and loneliness can give a new impetus to the relationship. You can learn to use the strenght of your anger in a more constructive manner toward deepening the relationship. You also learn to deal with your need for dependency as well as your need for autonomy within the union.

To break the negative spirals in the communication, we discuss practical skills and rules of communication like:

• Listening to each other
• Asking straight questions
• Arguing in a healthy way
• Handling power play
• Dealing with blame
• Making your wishes and needs known

Do you think that this form of therapy might be suitable for you?